You decorate your wheelie bin.
30 December, 2008
How Shit Gets Done: A Practical. Part Four: Getting It Done.
The Hell Hole held a great deal of stuff, some of it so inaccessible that the task of emptying the cupboards was less of a purge and more of a expedition of rediscovery. “Dr. Livingstone, I assume. Again. And - oh look! - you expired February 2006. How lovely for you.” Parting was sweet relief.
The Kitchen Fellas arrived about 7:15am on the designated day and backed up a large flatbed trailer up the driveway. They then proceded to indelicately bash, drill and saw the living shit out of the Hell Hole until it was in pieces small enough to extract from the house and throw onto the trailer. There were only two Kitchen Fellas; one older chap who used to play wing on the rugby pitch (so, that stood him in very good stead) and his young assistant. They were very efficient. Within hours, it was gone. All that remained was an ungodly mess, and a layer of fine and probably toxic residual dust over everything. The plumber arrived later that day to ensure all was sealed off tight. The Beloved had already sealed off the gas, but the taps needed to be cut back to the pipes to allow the new cupboards in.
The next morning, the Kitchen Fellas returned, with the trailer now carrying the Shiny New Heaven. I swear I could hear angels singing.
There was more bashing and grunting and drilling and to-ing and fro-ing and carry on, but by lunch there was a reasonable semblance of a kitchen materialising. It was this point that the Old Hell Hole exacted its revenge via one of its Appliance Minions: the Dishwasher Devil.
The outside walls of dishwashers are encased in sound-proofing and insulation material, and metal brackets for securing the dishwasher to the bench. These metal backets have inexplicably sharp edges. The Dishwasher Devil had cunningly positioned itself to intercept my path to the fridge. As I touched the Dishwasher Devil to move it aside, the bloody thing bit me hard on my right thumb, which then proceeded to bleed like a bastard. The young assistant googled me a nearby doctor, who kindly agreed to see me immediately. The young assistant drove me and the blood-soaked tea towel now wrapped around my useless thumb up to the doctor. It was a bit of a mess. Anyway, some significant pain, five stitches and half an hour in the surgery later, I had walked the ten minutes back home and was back at my desk realising just how much I use my thumb to type, and how much I love codeine. My desire for lunch had somehow dissipated.
In the meantime, the Shiny New Heaven had continued to evolve.
Aside from some minor and quickly-corrected issues with uneven handle placement and backing boards, it was all done by the day’s end. The plumber came the next day and hooked up the gas to the new hob.
The Shiny New Heaven works, a fact which excites admiring “oohs” and “aahs” from friends, but which I think is only as it should be.
We have a pantry ( WE HAVE A PANTRY!!!) in which we could store enough food to last a brief nuclear winter, and we have drawers in which we can both store things and find them later (I cannot recommend drawers highly enough. Drawers truly rock).
It was, however, over two weeks before the Beloved could do the promised electricals (oven, range hood, Dishwasher Devil). So, not quite a lesson learned, but now all the kitchen lacks is a splashback, which will be done very soon. If paying work hadn’t been such a competing priority, and if Christmas hadn’t interrupted everything, it would be done by now! However, no excuses. I just have to Get It Done.
The Kitchen Fellas arrived about 7:15am on the designated day and backed up a large flatbed trailer up the driveway. They then proceded to indelicately bash, drill and saw the living shit out of the Hell Hole until it was in pieces small enough to extract from the house and throw onto the trailer. There were only two Kitchen Fellas; one older chap who used to play wing on the rugby pitch (so, that stood him in very good stead) and his young assistant. They were very efficient. Within hours, it was gone. All that remained was an ungodly mess, and a layer of fine and probably toxic residual dust over everything. The plumber arrived later that day to ensure all was sealed off tight. The Beloved had already sealed off the gas, but the taps needed to be cut back to the pipes to allow the new cupboards in.
The next morning, the Kitchen Fellas returned, with the trailer now carrying the Shiny New Heaven. I swear I could hear angels singing.
There was more bashing and grunting and drilling and to-ing and fro-ing and carry on, but by lunch there was a reasonable semblance of a kitchen materialising. It was this point that the Old Hell Hole exacted its revenge via one of its Appliance Minions: the Dishwasher Devil.
The outside walls of dishwashers are encased in sound-proofing and insulation material, and metal brackets for securing the dishwasher to the bench. These metal backets have inexplicably sharp edges. The Dishwasher Devil had cunningly positioned itself to intercept my path to the fridge. As I touched the Dishwasher Devil to move it aside, the bloody thing bit me hard on my right thumb, which then proceeded to bleed like a bastard. The young assistant googled me a nearby doctor, who kindly agreed to see me immediately. The young assistant drove me and the blood-soaked tea towel now wrapped around my useless thumb up to the doctor. It was a bit of a mess. Anyway, some significant pain, five stitches and half an hour in the surgery later, I had walked the ten minutes back home and was back at my desk realising just how much I use my thumb to type, and how much I love codeine. My desire for lunch had somehow dissipated.
In the meantime, the Shiny New Heaven had continued to evolve.
Aside from some minor and quickly-corrected issues with uneven handle placement and backing boards, it was all done by the day’s end. The plumber came the next day and hooked up the gas to the new hob.
The Shiny New Heaven works, a fact which excites admiring “oohs” and “aahs” from friends, but which I think is only as it should be.
We have a pantry ( WE HAVE A PANTRY!!!) in which we could store enough food to last a brief nuclear winter, and we have drawers in which we can both store things and find them later (I cannot recommend drawers highly enough. Drawers truly rock).
It was, however, over two weeks before the Beloved could do the promised electricals (oven, range hood, Dishwasher Devil). So, not quite a lesson learned, but now all the kitchen lacks is a splashback, which will be done very soon. If paying work hadn’t been such a competing priority, and if Christmas hadn’t interrupted everything, it would be done by now! However, no excuses. I just have to Get It Done.
02 December, 2008
How Shit Gets Done: A Practical. Part Three: Preparation
The kitchen dudes duly sent pictures of the kitchen layout to me. I made some changes, as you do, and checked door thicknesses, shelf heights, etc. The persistent practice of kitchen designers in putting microwave ovens at or above shoulder height absolutely defeats me. A friend of mine is still scarring from a nasty burn from just such a set up (which, by the way, is the one thing she and her partner hate about their otherwise gorgeous kitchen). So, the microwave is back on the bench, there are some more drawers where there were ordinary cupboards, and some shelving I was only half convinced about in the first place has been ditched. I have bought some ducting for the range hood. I have bought all 27 (!) door handles, as I didn't like the kitchen dudes' base line or their range. A friend has even lined up a good tiler for me to do the splashback, which was removed on the weekend.
Also on the weekend, the kitchen threw up all over the rest of the house. There is. So. Much. Shit. Canisters and the microwave cover the dining table. The spare room is bulging with stuff I'd forgotten I had. The lounge has boxes of cans and spices, and now has a distinct "Asian grocery" aroma. The bathroom is full of cleaning stuff and kitchen sink stuff.
I haven't emptied the existing drawers of cutlery and wrappings and tea towels; I'll just pull the whole lot out at 7:30am tomorrow morning when these kitchen dudes, who obviously have no idea of the hours of civilised society, arrive to haul the Current Hell Hole out.
The next day, the Shiny New Heaven is to be installed. CanNOT wait. Have girded loins, sacrificed kitchen sponges to the kitchen spirit (I think her name is Sherry) and have organised remote access to work computers.
And now, we shall see how much of these Great Plans pass through the bowels of Life and Reality and turn to Large, Steaming Turds. And how quickly.
Also on the weekend, the kitchen threw up all over the rest of the house. There is. So. Much. Shit. Canisters and the microwave cover the dining table. The spare room is bulging with stuff I'd forgotten I had. The lounge has boxes of cans and spices, and now has a distinct "Asian grocery" aroma. The bathroom is full of cleaning stuff and kitchen sink stuff.
I haven't emptied the existing drawers of cutlery and wrappings and tea towels; I'll just pull the whole lot out at 7:30am tomorrow morning when these kitchen dudes, who obviously have no idea of the hours of civilised society, arrive to haul the Current Hell Hole out.
The next day, the Shiny New Heaven is to be installed. CanNOT wait. Have girded loins, sacrificed kitchen sponges to the kitchen spirit (I think her name is Sherry) and have organised remote access to work computers.
And now, we shall see how much of these Great Plans pass through the bowels of Life and Reality and turn to Large, Steaming Turds. And how quickly.
10 November, 2008
The Rectus Femoris Is Evil And Must Be Punished
Now, this is lengthy, but as I found it hard to source good information, I'm hoping that if I provide enough detail, it might help someone else find the information they're looking for.
For years I have had knee problems. They began when I was about 12 or 13, with shooting random pains from behind my kneecap, and pain after long walks. The doctors had no idea. No real tests were done. My grandmother prescribed Epsom Salts for some reason (suspected adolescent rheumatoid arthritis?), so I took teaspoons of that dissolved in warm water for a few years. It was awful to take, and unfortunately did not improve my knee pain.
I seemed to grow out of it, but the knees have always been a bit problematic. I sprained my right anterior medial ligament badly in a sporting accident. The young physiotherapists at my gym gave the knee ultrasound treatment for about 12 weeks and were happy to keep going until I told them enough was enough, and we were just wasting that cold blue gel they like so much. The pool therapy was good, but recovery was never complete. The knee was always painful and stiff, and any sporting activity required a firm knee brace.
I started shotokan karate, which both strengthened my knee and put it at a bit of risk. It was a two years before I trusted the strength in my knee enough to ditch the knee brace. It was then I noticed in the dojo that my knees hyperextended. I could bend them backwards! And they did not feel good when I did so.
Sick of the pain, I returned to a physiotherapist who was not convenient but who had fixed my neck once, and who took a more active approach to treatment. He said that my medial ligament had probably scarred, and had certainly healed tight. The treatment involved ultrasound treatment and stretching. The stretching involved extending my leg out in line with my hip with the foot facing forward and pressing gently down on the knee. This was excruciating, it was like a hot, thin spike was being driven into my knee. I could stand about 2 seconds of this, but he wanted me to build up to 3 sets of 20 seconds. It took me three months to achieve this and content the physio.
The knee pain stopped.
Slipping on a wet floor about 6 months after this and re-injuring my knee reduced me to tears. The thought of having to go through all that treatment and stretching and pain again was just too much. By now, however, the ligament seemed permanently slack, and I was faced with another problem! This time, rest, ice, ultrasound and strengthening was required for two months.
So, for the past few years I've had a sporadic yoga practice. I like Iyengar yoga for its precision, strict and safe alignment, and practice-for-your-need flexibility. My tight hamstrings have gradually relaxed, my migraines are far less frequent, and I cope better with stress. There are other ways yoga is making life better, but that's a whole other story. Basic asanas are fine, even the occasional backbend. However, Supta Virasana is impossible for me, even with three bolsters to support me. While everyone else in class is breathing smoothly and relaxing, I'm gritting my teeth and squirming with my lower back pinching and my knees screaming. I last about a minute, and come out for sweet relief while others can easily go to sleep like this.
While going through some back-issues of Yoga Journal, I found this article, now available online:
http://www.yogajournal.com/practice/2607
The agony they describe is exactly mine! Tight quads? That's it? Tight quads!
So, I'm now determined to stretch my quadruceps out, and my rectus femoris in particular, however unsavoury that sounds :-)
Then, I find this: http://www.round-earth.com/kneepain-rectus-femoris.html
The article describes so much of what I've been going through! Why have no physiotherapists (and there have been several) never picked this up? Why have none of my yoga teachers never noticed this? No-one has ever put two and two together, not even when I did a full 45-minute specific Pilates physio assessment for imbalances and movement problems. I'm pretty sure there's heaps of athletes and others out there who would read this and be screaming out about how obvious my problem is, but it's taken me all this time to find at least one answer. It probably doesn't explain my childhood knee problems, but I think there's a pretty good chance that it described my adult knee problems.
Anyway, I am now placing emphasis on doing extra quad stretches, and not just after hamstring stretches. I'm even trying the trigger-point therapy, and it is painful. This might take some time, but I'm confident I can address some of my knee problems if I sort out my extremely tight quads.
Wish me luck. I'll let you know how it goes.
For years I have had knee problems. They began when I was about 12 or 13, with shooting random pains from behind my kneecap, and pain after long walks. The doctors had no idea. No real tests were done. My grandmother prescribed Epsom Salts for some reason (suspected adolescent rheumatoid arthritis?), so I took teaspoons of that dissolved in warm water for a few years. It was awful to take, and unfortunately did not improve my knee pain.
I seemed to grow out of it, but the knees have always been a bit problematic. I sprained my right anterior medial ligament badly in a sporting accident. The young physiotherapists at my gym gave the knee ultrasound treatment for about 12 weeks and were happy to keep going until I told them enough was enough, and we were just wasting that cold blue gel they like so much. The pool therapy was good, but recovery was never complete. The knee was always painful and stiff, and any sporting activity required a firm knee brace.
I started shotokan karate, which both strengthened my knee and put it at a bit of risk. It was a two years before I trusted the strength in my knee enough to ditch the knee brace. It was then I noticed in the dojo that my knees hyperextended. I could bend them backwards! And they did not feel good when I did so.
Sick of the pain, I returned to a physiotherapist who was not convenient but who had fixed my neck once, and who took a more active approach to treatment. He said that my medial ligament had probably scarred, and had certainly healed tight. The treatment involved ultrasound treatment and stretching. The stretching involved extending my leg out in line with my hip with the foot facing forward and pressing gently down on the knee. This was excruciating, it was like a hot, thin spike was being driven into my knee. I could stand about 2 seconds of this, but he wanted me to build up to 3 sets of 20 seconds. It took me three months to achieve this and content the physio.
The knee pain stopped.
Slipping on a wet floor about 6 months after this and re-injuring my knee reduced me to tears. The thought of having to go through all that treatment and stretching and pain again was just too much. By now, however, the ligament seemed permanently slack, and I was faced with another problem! This time, rest, ice, ultrasound and strengthening was required for two months.
So, for the past few years I've had a sporadic yoga practice. I like Iyengar yoga for its precision, strict and safe alignment, and practice-for-your-need flexibility. My tight hamstrings have gradually relaxed, my migraines are far less frequent, and I cope better with stress. There are other ways yoga is making life better, but that's a whole other story. Basic asanas are fine, even the occasional backbend. However, Supta Virasana is impossible for me, even with three bolsters to support me. While everyone else in class is breathing smoothly and relaxing, I'm gritting my teeth and squirming with my lower back pinching and my knees screaming. I last about a minute, and come out for sweet relief while others can easily go to sleep like this.
While going through some back-issues of Yoga Journal, I found this article, now available online:
http://www.yogajournal.com/practice/2607
The agony they describe is exactly mine! Tight quads? That's it? Tight quads!
So, I'm now determined to stretch my quadruceps out, and my rectus femoris in particular, however unsavoury that sounds :-)
Then, I find this: http://www.round-earth.com/kneepain-rectus-femoris.html
The article describes so much of what I've been going through! Why have no physiotherapists (and there have been several) never picked this up? Why have none of my yoga teachers never noticed this? No-one has ever put two and two together, not even when I did a full 45-minute specific Pilates physio assessment for imbalances and movement problems. I'm pretty sure there's heaps of athletes and others out there who would read this and be screaming out about how obvious my problem is, but it's taken me all this time to find at least one answer. It probably doesn't explain my childhood knee problems, but I think there's a pretty good chance that it described my adult knee problems.
Anyway, I am now placing emphasis on doing extra quad stretches, and not just after hamstring stretches. I'm even trying the trigger-point therapy, and it is painful. This might take some time, but I'm confident I can address some of my knee problems if I sort out my extremely tight quads.
Wish me luck. I'll let you know how it goes.
03 November, 2008
How Shit Gets Done: A Practical. Part Two: Making Decisions
I bought a range hood last Saturday. I bought it because it had the features Choice sensibly said to look for (and I agree) and because it was floor stock that was available Right Now. I didn't know Right Now meant 45 minutes while the sales fellow did a well-intentioned but stubbornly silly job of dismantling it and packaging it up.
Nevertheless, I walked out of the store with an essential piece of kit for the Shiny New Heaven.
I went to the Kitchen Chap's factory and showroom to drop off the range hood, and pick out doors and colours and cosmetic stuff like that. I've made a preliminary choice, but am likely to change it this week as I have what some believe is an unnatural hatred of round edges on kitchen cabinets (honestly, it's a working surface, not a bloody table), and so I have to choose a different coating.
I have already chosen handles. Neither they nor the laminates nor the vinyl door coatings are pink, the colour of the Current Hell Hole.
Nevertheless, I walked out of the store with an essential piece of kit for the Shiny New Heaven.
I went to the Kitchen Chap's factory and showroom to drop off the range hood, and pick out doors and colours and cosmetic stuff like that. I've made a preliminary choice, but am likely to change it this week as I have what some believe is an unnatural hatred of round edges on kitchen cabinets (honestly, it's a working surface, not a bloody table), and so I have to choose a different coating.
I have already chosen handles. Neither they nor the laminates nor the vinyl door coatings are pink, the colour of the Current Hell Hole.
30 October, 2008
How Shit Gets Done: A Practical. Part One: Beginning.
In frustration at not being able to advance with the (new) house, I am giving the Beloved a practical lesson in How Shit Gets Done.
The "el cheapo oh-it-was-only-ever-temporary" kitchen is being dragged out and replaced. It has served OK, but is falling apart and the old dear needs to be put out of our misery.
Rang Kitchen Chap last week to arrange a time for recce of Current Hell Hole. Kitchen Chap came around Tuesday arvo to provide consultation and rough measure of said Hell Hole. Got kudos for noticing distinct absence of pantry. Quote was provided that evening by e-mail. After consultation with Beloved (it is his place, after all), told Kitchen Chap by e-mail this evening that we can go ahead. Kitchen Chap then calls straight after, has cancellation for appointment 8:30am tomorrow (and I know he's trying to get stuff done before his Bali wedding anniversary trip). So, tomorrow he is coming around to do a measure, then construction of the cabinets, etc, can begin. We hand over a cheque for 50% of cost.
They pop around in about 3 weeks to remove Current Hell Hole and install Shiny New Heaven, whereupon they get the other 50%.
More How Shit Gets Done to follow....
The "el cheapo oh-it-was-only-ever-temporary" kitchen is being dragged out and replaced. It has served OK, but is falling apart and the old dear needs to be put out of our misery.
Rang Kitchen Chap last week to arrange a time for recce of Current Hell Hole. Kitchen Chap came around Tuesday arvo to provide consultation and rough measure of said Hell Hole. Got kudos for noticing distinct absence of pantry. Quote was provided that evening by e-mail. After consultation with Beloved (it is his place, after all), told Kitchen Chap by e-mail this evening that we can go ahead. Kitchen Chap then calls straight after, has cancellation for appointment 8:30am tomorrow (and I know he's trying to get stuff done before his Bali wedding anniversary trip). So, tomorrow he is coming around to do a measure, then construction of the cabinets, etc, can begin. We hand over a cheque for 50% of cost.
They pop around in about 3 weeks to remove Current Hell Hole and install Shiny New Heaven, whereupon they get the other 50%.
More How Shit Gets Done to follow....
15 September, 2008
Elk Stampede!
Have gone bananas at Elk Accessories, and they haven’t even got their full spring/summer range up, yet. My poor credit card is howling with pain and outrage at the repeated injuries. All their cute little silver earrings and cuff rings with naïve bird cut-outs or reliefs and their perfect light wooden bead pieces are just irresistable and right. The red disc bracelet has been worn almost every day since I received it. The long black beads are perfect with dark work suits. Their way of mixing textures and colours is just right every time.
And then Marnie at Elk adds insult to injury by putting some autumn/winter things on sale.
O, the Humanity. It’s all too much for this mere mortal.
I need a lie-down.
And then Marnie at Elk adds insult to injury by putting some autumn/winter things on sale.
O, the Humanity. It’s all too much for this mere mortal.
I need a lie-down.
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