Lies

I've had this list of lies, well, lying around on my desk for ages. Some of these are lies I've used, heard and have had thrust upon me, so I know that they are in fact, full-blown hand-on-heart so-help-me-god whoppers. I'm sure there are many, many others, and I might add more as I come across them. In the pursuit of clearing my desk, here they are.

1. I was with mates.
2. It's in the mail, I sent it yesterday.
3. I'm not scared.
4. My dog ate it.
5. You're the best/You were fantastic.
6. You're the first.
7. You're the only one.
8. This tastes great, did you make it yourself?
9. I didn't do it.
10. I didn't touch a thing.
11. We're not big eaters.
12. I do not recall. I have no recollection of those events.
13. I do.
14. They'll stretch.
15. That colour really suits you.
16. I have one myself.
17. This won't hurt a bit.
18. Honestly...
19. I'll never drink again.
20. I'm eighteen/twenty-two/twenty-five...
21. No, I don't mind at all.
22. Your policy speech was inspiring.
23. There will be no new taxes.
24. The future is bright.
25. We want energetic, creative and innovative people who think for themselves.
26. We reward teamwork.
27. Your jobs are safe.
28. Employees are our most valuable asset.
29. It was on sale.
30. This is my natural hair colour.
31. If the wind changes, your face will stay like that.
32. We're not lost. I know exactly where we are.
33. It will be fine and 25 degrees with a light afternoon sea breeze.
34. The water's fine once you get in.
35. She'll grow out of it.
36. It's just puppy fat.
37. That will never work.